Not good enough for myself, or for anyone. Everyone looks down on me, or at least I feel looked-down-upon. Maybe I'm inflicting it on myself. Maybe. I have bigoted acquaintances who would sneer at me if they knew the course I'm taking now.

I doubt I'd be happy doing something like life sciences or psychology, not happier than I am now anyway. I'd probably find everything bland and tedious. But I'm feeling ashamed now. Which is the worse thing to feel?