I can't help but feel everyone's trying to make me envious. Your sharing is equivalent to yelling "Look where I am, look how wonderful it is, I'm having the time of my life, aren't you jealous?"

because god, I'm having the opposite of the time of my life. I'm stuck in the hellhole that I've made of my home. I'm not allowed to do anything I love. I'm being put through shit everyday--and shit that I am helpless but to impose upon myself, no less!--all because I chose wrong out of some sort of delusion. And I'm never happy.