...

Paranoid or not, am I being complacent? Am I indulging too much in my own compromising acts?

.........didn't think I'd start feeling threatened again. Am I not trying hard enough? I'm surprised that this has me worried, but still...

uh.

Braggarts and people who acknowledge them.

just saying

If ever I gain the powers to murder someone instantly, the first to go will be my sister.

oh, really?

You brag, and you ask me why people expect so much of you. I thought you were a genius.

hating

I do hate. I hate intensely.

In my imagination, I will crush people to death, rip them open from a precise point in their abdomen. I imagine buildings falling upon them so they'll die with no one to see them die.

Sometimes I kill myself in my imagination too, but that's a different matter entirely.

I want to murder; I want to strangle most often of all. I almost did, once, it was my mother.

I must confess, some people have me raging to injure and maim them from the moment I catch sight of them. Thankfully I can appear only mildly perturbed, or at least I hope I do.

grr

My sister's voice makes me want to strangle her. The falsity hurts, the pride even more so.

so i finally understand it

The only ones who impress me are the ones I never found reason to belittle. Otherwise it's hate, just hate. If I found you unworthy once, you'll always be so in my eyes, changed or not.

"she has become a caricature of her very worst traits."

Sad, when your friendship grows warped by time and separation, by exposure to different environments that change us, little by little, into separate and incompatible entities.

What was once the same doesn't always stay the same, not if there's disconnect between. I guess you cannot avoid it if a friendship breaks open this way. Sentiment begs me to hold on, but sentiment is the fool's advisor, oblivious to changes it could not predict.

other things make me happier anyway~