I'm sorry for being cryptic but I don't want anyone to know what exactly I've done.

This has happened before, envy and jealousy has ruined my friendships. I can't help it. How do I help it? I just feel like I've got the short end of the stick in every aspect. I'm always going to envy anyone who has better than I. I tend to feel entitled. I tend to need to amaze others. I feel like shit if I'm not respected or admired. And really now's not a good time in my life, and I think it's time I treated myself decently for once.