doors

So far away, so hard to keep the threads together. The longer you're gone, the further we become. Or so I fear. We're being dragged in opposite directions by forces that aren't even undesirable, whispers spidered in nectar.

Truth is, I'm afraid of bonding activities not because of me, but because of my friends.

I'm afraid their bonding with new circles will show them new doors. Doors that will take them from me. I'm afraid of being replaced. I'm afraid of being forgotten.

I've said this before: I'm sorry for sounding clingy and selfish, but friendship is not easy for me.

Maybe they have enough friendships to think of friends as common commodities. Maybe they will have no qualms shifting connections like they're changing outfits.

But I hope, if they do so, that they realise how it hurts for the person they left behind, alone in the dust of what used to be.

To my friends: Enjoy yourselves. I have no right to stop the fluidity of relationships and connections. But there's someone here still hoping that things can be the same as before.