I can't keep doing this; I don't believe in God and I have many reasons. But I'm being made to pray everyday. Not a single day in the past two months have I gone without praying the rosary with my family. I do it because I know it gives my father hope, and hope isn't just an analgesic; hope could very well improve his chances of recovery. I'm doing this for him. But I'm so exhausted with it, being asked to construct prayers and speak them with sincerity as if I actually thought they would help. Listening to my entire family offer the outcome of the situation entirely to an entity I'm convinced doesn't exist. Praying every night for half an hour. Half an hour of fatuous recitation. I can't keep doing this for the next two years, but I just cannot stop. I cannot disappoint my father at this point.