Sigh. There's technically no detriment to praying even if I don't believe in God. And yet it makes me so angry that I'm being put through these routines against my will. I'm angry that I'm being bullied into it, that my father pushes harder when I refuse, that he is guilt tripping me for not wanting to pray, making me feel like I'm a terrible person for it.

I'm sorry, I just don't believe in God, and all the arguments you use to convince me only fall flat because There are very clear scientific answers to questions like "who created water" and "what makes the earth turn" and "who created life" and I'm sorry that I know them and that you don't. I don't want to tell you the truth, that I know things you don't and that they answer all these questions without "God", because I know religion sustains you, I know what it means, and it's for that reason that I'm trying so hard to conform to your expectations. But I'm so angry because I want it to stop.