Hey, just to document it, there's a penknife on the table right now, and I'm just wondering if I'm still afraid to use it on myself. Perhaps today I will finally break that barrier. There's so many things here that I could use to hurt myself. There's scissors. There's sharp objects. There's a whole lot of chemicals outside because of the construction work that's going on.

But my family's burdened enough, they don't need another person to send to hospital.

What am I supposed to do then?