I am rarely privileged with the opportunity to say that I've done something that I'm proud of.
Yes, this is a month late, but I'm still excited.
I'm so glad I composed Dreamt. Because, puns aside, it really is a dream come true. It's the first time I've been able to listen to a composition of my own and feel, suddenly, fully-distanced, as if it were a professional work I am in the process of evaluating. Not in any way a mark of its standard--but nevertheless, this is a milestone for me.
Other works before this were missing something...they sounded clearly, flatly, like amateur works--fledglings yet to take flight. The rasp of the speakers, because I could not handle the layering limits; the dissonances that were not clean enough to be artistry; the bells and whistles (literally) that served no purpose except to stimulate the listener's attraction to novelty. My attempts to replicate the pros' startlingly beautiful effects--all shadows, vaguely mirroring them, but so much more crudely.
This time, I feel as if I've, someway, bypassed that. The music makes more sense than before. And no annoying overload either. Is it a matter of experience--or was I simply in the beat--on the crest--lucky that day? Luck. Composition is muchly about luck. And chaos. Each note dictates the laying of the next--forming a web with so many strands that the code of composition is but indecipherable, except by the human's aesthetic taste.
Whatever it is, I did something, and that something gave me this.
I do not like to brag. In the creative fields, claiming that your own work is good is to me detestable. Even with some sort of external opinion. Because in the realm of the subjective, a true piece of critique is worth just as much as a lie. No gauge can be accurate, because there are no objective standards. A work's popularity could be as much the result of exposure as it could be of quality.
But while I shall not say this work is good (far, far from it in fact)--I can say, I am glad to have accomplished something that makes me proud. Whatever others may think of it.
Dreamt (Instrumental)
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