I feel like my class has been excluding me. I am, in fact, reasonably sure that this feeling of exclusion isn't imagined.
They don't reply to my messages on the Whatsapp group unless they are work-related inquiries. And when I say things in class, no one cares. Maybe I've been talking too much in class. Maybe I've been too open about how much I hate my work. Maybe there's something unappealing about that. Maybe they think I'm elitist. On top of this, I'm ugly, awkward and terrible at "being cool". And my weirdness isn't the appealing sort that media loves to represent. It's the sort that makes you feel like turning your nose up at me because it's nigh impossible to start a normal conversation with me.
Yeah, it's just too bad I haven't got the same interests as them. That I'm an atypical female with no interest in how I look, and with tastes greatly deviating from everyone else's. And maybe I'm too proud. Maybe it's because I'm not straight! Maybe I should have lain low. I should have. I wish it weren't in my nature to be outgoing right off the bat and then hunker down and never return when I realise no one likes me.
This is the first time I've felt absolutely, completely excluded. Before this I had my friends from primary school with me; this is the first time I've been surrounded by a completely new group of friends and had to recreate my social circle from scratch. And I've become absolutely inept at doing so.
